Speeddating(sm): The Smarter, Faster Way to Lasting Love

by Sue Deyo and Yaacov Deyo

Book Overview

Want a faster, less painful path to lasting love? Now, a founder of SpeedDating -- hailed by U.S. News & World Report as "the original fast-date service" -- reveals the essential questions you need to ask in order to date, evaluate, and even marry Mr. or Ms. Right. SpeedDating(SM) shows how to judge quickly whether a relationship has a future before a large time or emotional investment has been made.

Based on the worldwide success of SpeedDating...

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0066212553
• ISBN13: 9780066212555
• Release Date: March 2002
• Publisher: William Morrow & Company
• Length: 224 Pages
• Weight: 0.95 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.9" x 5.5" x 8.3"

Customer Reviews

A true guiding book about searching life long partnership

After a few unsucessful relationships I almost gave up on looking Mr. Right. My friend recommended me to read the book "He's just not into you". So I took a trip to the bookstore and I found this book. I was attracted to this book by its title. After standing inside the store reading for about 20 pages, I decided to buy it. Now I am halfway done with book and I really like it and have recommended to my other single friends. This book not only teaches you how to handle speed dating or any dating event but also truly provides a guide about how to search the long lasting love. I was feeling frustrated and rushed into a few meaningless relationships. I have been in a wrong relationship for 5 years and afraided getting out and by the time it ended my heart was broken. I also have wasted my time with a few guys who don't want to commit. If I have read this book much earlier, I would have saved my time and feeling for the right person. Eventhough I have not done with this book, I have the confidence finding the right person and I can let the Mr. Wrong go easily. Only after you know who you are, who you are looking for and what kind of relatinship you are looking for, you can find your true lasting love.----this is what I learned from this book so far.

Is this my soul mate?

"For someone seeking a meaningful and lasting relationship, today's dating scene can be brutal. You meet someone, begin dating, date more seriously, fall into a semi or full-time living-together arrangement-and then it doesn't work out, leaving one or both of you heartbroken." If you are a hopeless romantic, you probably think you will simply find the right person and get married. Not to mention living happily ever after. But do you know the right questions to ask? This book is more about applying the fundamental skills of SpeedDating to your own relationships and is based on the tenets of Jewish philosophy and wisdom. Speed Dating is about saving time in the dating process. If "What was I thinking" is your lament, then this book will provide the questions you should ask yourself, your date and others so you can evaluate your relationships more quickly before you commit hours of your time to a person you might really not be compatible with. You will learn: How to eliminate time-wasting, heartbreaking relationship habits How to tell when you are "in love" and whether this will last How to determine four levels of commonality with the person you are dating How to accurately evaluate your date in the shortest amount of time Tips for keeping dating productive as well as fun Tools for discovering your date's true character The following questions are discussed in Part 1: 1. What is my desired outcome? 2. How can I tell When I'm in Love? 3. Am I attracted to who people are or to what they have or what they can do for me? 4. What do we have in common - and does it matter? 5. What type of person do I enjoy giving to? 6. Am I reliving the same bad date over and over again. 7. Am I spending as much time in product development as I am in marketing? 8. What do I like and respect about myself? 9. Who is my team? 10. Do I trust this is going to work out - that I will find my soul mate? Part 2 focuses on the SpeedDating way and includes "SpeedDating pacing"and more questions. 11. Do I enjoy being with this person? 12. What are my thoughts telling me - which should I listen to and which should I ignore. 13. Is this an action, or my interpretation of an action? 14. Is this relationship ready for physical intimacy? 15. What am I going to learn during this date? 16. Did my date pass the team screen? 17. How does my date behave when not on a date? 18. What challenges will this relationship have, and am I prepared to handle or live with these challenges long-term? You will also find out how to recognize a "shaper," "avoider," "defaulter," and "cynic." The section on chemistry is intriguing. There are aspects of love that cannot be expressed verbally. "If love is a feeling that mysteriously appears and disappears, how can we ever be certain that it won't suddenly disappear?" pg. 16 I could appreciate the section on how a "giver" and a "taker" can result in a painful situation. The taker has strong expectations that everyone should g

A must read tool for anyone on the dating scene

I started reading the SpeedDating book about a month ago. I was skeptical at first as to how useful the information might be to me.Well, I'm only half-way through the book and have already drawn the conclusion that the information I've absorbed is invaluable. I am able to use examples provided in the book to reflect on past dating/relationship experiences and make connections with respect to the mistakes and errors in judgement that I have made in the past.I fully intend to complete the reading and pass it on to a lady friend of mine who is also in relationship limbo.My hope is that my future judgement lapses will be less and that I will not waste my time (and the time of others) in meaningless relationships.I recommend this book to anyone on the dating circuit, regardless of religon. While the cost of a hardbound book can scare off potential readers, think of it this way: The cost of this book is far less than one bad date. I would much rather spend my time curled up on the couch with quality reading than spend an evening looking at my watch wondering when the "date" will end. And when that "bad date" ends, where will I be: At home, curled up on the couch reading or watching TV, a bad taste in my mouth and alot less money in my pocket. A no brainer to me.Thank you Sue and Yaacov.

Don't Date Without This Book!

When you're ready to stop wasting time dating the wrong person, read this book. The Speeddating way is to ask your date the right questions early in the courtship to spot the red flags BEFORE you find yourself deeply involved with this person for the wrong reasons-reasons like convenience, security/lifestyle or simply because the sex is just too good! Asking targeted questions also helps you to discover your own core values and to search for a life partner who will share those values. The methodology outlined in this book significantly reduces the pain of dating. Believe me! Reading this book gave me new insight into why I married my ex-husband. We were what the authors call "defaulters-those who become so enmeshed in a relationship before making a commitment that they never really know where dating ends and the relationship begins." After living together in college and then moving cross country together for his law school, we eventually felt obligated toward marriage. We'd joke that our grandchildren's running gag about us would be, "Our grandparents lived together for 30 years and were married for 3." So we ultimately married because we couldn't imagine living without each other-not because we were so deeply in love-but because our coupledom was such a comfortable and professional and economically sustaining habit and because everyone in our families treating us accordingly. It took this book to clarify the obvious: that dating is a process, dating is not the relationship. Based on a system of core values that started to emerge when we discussed having children, my ex and I couldn't have been more diametrically opposed in the areas of religion, lifestyle and balancing household responsibilities.So, please, save yourself heartache and years of treading water in a wrong relationship. If you're not on the same page as your partner, it's because YOU didn't ask the right questions and align yourself with someone whose heart is in the same place as yours. You want to be with someone in whom you see greatness and who sees greatness in you. This book shows you how to take responsibility for who you really are and how to attract the partner who will help you realize your full potential.

A FUN TO READ BOOK WITH LOTS OF EXCELLENT DATING ADVICE.

I think this book is GREAT! I really enjoyed reading it a lot. The author's style is very easy to read and yet offers solid, practical advice about how to avoid the pitfalls of dating and making bad choices in today's dog eat dog singles world. Lots of great, interesting first hand accounts from both the authors and people they know. I think that this book is a MUST for all singles, whether you are 19 or 59, male or female, a religious person or a non-religious person - it doesn't matter. This book has something important to say to everyone. As a man, I feel I particularly benefited from the insights I got into women - better than the Mars-Venus stuff. My only question is: Why didn't they write this book years earlier when I started dating?! A top notch book that every single person should read.